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MORGAN FAIRCHILD (NO RELATION)
Our lead. Morgan is the new manager of the [REDACTED] Organization’s Main Branch. Formerly the coordinator of the American Branch, this promotion lands her in both a position of more authority and more responsibility. The latter, at first, seems more pertinent. Appearing sweet and demure, it’s only her exterior. Below the façade, Morgan is a ruthless and remorseless tyrant. She’s still super polite while handing down her decrees, though. |
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GERD von WITTELSBACH
Bavarian. Heir to the Shadow Throne. Like inches from being on the Supreme Council. Gerd is the manager’s assistant. This guy is a like a walking database. He knows everything there is to know about the Organization, though he can’t tell you if you don’t have clearance and you shouldn’t even be asking without the proper clearance so he’s going to have to file the proper paperwork and detain you indefinitely until the investigation is complete. Oops. You don’t have special clearance. You have been sentenced to death and will be executed before the firing squad. Take him away. His relationship with Morgan is like Liz Lemon's relationship with Jack Donaghy, only partially backward and really off-putting. |
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REBECCA MOUNTBATTEN-WINDSOR
English. So English, she’s literally in line for the throne. But, like, not super high up. The Queen’s grand-niece. She’s the manager’s secretary. Super sexy voice. She’s taking a few (5) semesters off from university and interning for the Organization. Rebecca is a meta pop culture encyclopedia and friends with the hottest celebrities - most of whom can be found loitering around her desk. Due to this, in addition to secretarial work, she is head of the Fashionista and journalistic departments covering influencers, record labels, tabloids (and, by extension, the major news outlets) and all social media. |
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LOUIS-RENÉ ‘L REN’ HUBERT
French. Hippie supreme. Makes tea at his desk. Does farty yoga while in teleconference meetings on speaker phone. New age bullshit abounds with the chief of the Scientology Department. “Le Ronne”, as he is known in the office, is comptroller and head of accounting as well as the entirety of the World Exploratory Committee choosing election victors at whim. He's the kind of guy who'll microwave fish in the office. He films for interviews with famous Scientologist figures like Tom Cruise and John Travolta in a very small set by his desk controlling marionette likenesses from above, all the while shoeless. The asshole. |
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NILS van der LOOPBAAN
Danish. Tech multibillionaire tycoon. Started 'Nanner (think Microsoft/Apple but like Facebook, Space X and Minecraft, too) when he was 13. He’s a loveable nerd. He works IT for the Organization to pay off his debt to them for making him THE NAME in consumer home technology. Nils is responsible for Digitus 2.0, χείρ and Mr. Chad. He's not a bad guy. He just works there. |
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MR. CHAD
The resident alien world surveillance being. He landed in England in the early twentieth century leaving graffiti on random walls bearing vague questions he had regarding government policy. He continued this until he was taken in by the Organization. His mission to view everything going on in the world via his alien abilities is not hindered by the Organization and is instead encouraged, as long as that information is first passed to their analysts. He has two rows of fingers, each differential in finger length allowing Mr. Chad to type on four keyboards at one time. His eyes act as 4th dimensional scanners allowing him to see shit in ways we can’t even imagine. |
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χείρ (Hand Krang)
A baby hand clone in a thumb suit. Originally created to assist Mr. Chad, χείρ turned out to be quite infantile with no certainty of developmental growth. Goes on his own little background adventures with Digitus. |
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DIGITUS 2.0
Digitus is Nils' third appendage clone. He's a human finger. Created as a friend for χείρ (who was lonely), it is the second incarnation of the Digitus model. The first, nicknamed 'Pinky', became incredibly evil -far too evil even for the Organization- and was imprisoned below in the catacombs. Digitus helps with heavy lifting and experimentation, mostly as the test subject. |
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HIS SUPREME EXCELLENCY, THE SACRED and MOST DIVINE ETERNAL LIGHT of the BLAZING FLAME, THE EXALTED LORD ON HIGH [REDACTED] (but you can call him ‘JR’)
Like Jack Dawson, this man is the King of the World. Like, seriously: he’s the secret richest man in the world (2.3xJeff Bezos) as well as the last in the [REDACTED] line of prophecy and, thus, head of the Supreme Council of the Blazing Flame. He controls everything. That’s at least what some bullshit conspiracy theory some guy on the internet told me about. He's an NPC who sets up each episode's quest and gives way more information than necessary. |
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IL PAPA
Italian. Head of the Catholic Church and the Vatican. Totally connected. Il Papa is a mostly background character appearing for comedic effect. |
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VICTOR ACCIARI
Italian. Grandmaster spy. Victor is just James Bond when you need James Bond. And when you don't need James Bond. Womanizer, but like Johnny Bravo because he gets his ass kicked by his targets on the often. |
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FERDINAND
Robotic Spanish butler. He is only ever seen in the catacombs. Very slow moving. Dual personality, thanks to his shotty 18th century programming: incredibly helpful and purposely obstructive. No rhyme or reason to the personality shifts. |
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WALLY COLLODI
Conspiracy theorist. This guy has it all worked out. He just can't get inside to prove it. He uses all manner of technology and engineering while trying, usually to disastrous ends. He is seen outside as Morgan arrives to work. He is consistent in his attempts. A regular Wile E. Coyote. Hey, wait a minute! |
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THE POWER BROKERS
The Org's stormtroopers. There are tons of them. They're just henchmen. Nothing special. |
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